True Feelings
by SufferingSamurai2012
Summary: Kaoru is back in the dojo after her capture by Enishi. She's so happy she almost doesn't notice how strange everyone is acting. When she does notice she can't help but ask What did I miss? -EDITED-  made some very minor changes
1. A Friends Affection

i finally got around to editing some of these! I hope they are a much easier read!

* * *

Kaoru woke up to a silent house. She couldn't sense the vastness of the island home she was being forced to stay in and, for a moment, she felt panicked with claustrophobia. As she looked around at the foreign surroundings, she wondered why Enishi had placed her in a different room in the middle of the night. A flash went off in her mind and she remembered she was safe back at the dojo and a smile burst across her face. She got up, and flipped the window in her room open. The sun streamed down onto her face. She closed her eyes and felt the warmth permeating her flesh with a huge grin on her face. With a sigh, she removed herself from the window, dressed, and went down to the kitchen to greet Kenshin with a skip in her step. He wasn't there.

The smile faded as she remembered he was still recovering from his fight with the white-haired man. She debated on whether to check on him or start breakfast but decided on the latter. Yahiko would be very upset if he didn't get his food on time. With another grin, she remembered the young samurai and a feeling of joy overwhelmed her at the thought of seeing him every day from now on.

She had been back in the dojo for three days now and was almost in a state of euphoria after weeks up being shut up with Enishi. There was always an underlying feeling of fear on that island. Enishi was not in his right mind and she was always worried he would snap. It was such a relief to be here and not have to watch where she went and what she said. It was truly a blessing to be free.

Ignoring the fact that she was an awful cook, Kaoru hummed as she cut the vegetables in quick, efficient motions. While sliding the food from the cutting board to the pot, she heard the door open. She turned her head and saw Megumi in the doorway.

"Megumi!" she exclaimed, startled.

"Sorry Kaoru. The gate was unlocked so I just let myself in," she said quietly.

Megumi had been working on Kenshin for the past two and a half days and looked fatigued. Her very aura gave off exhaustion and her face was a sickly pale color.

"Come and sit down, Megumi," said Kaoru, frowning with concern. "You look tired."

Megumi gave a small smile. "It's nothing. I've had worse days."

Kaoru raised an eyebrow in disbelief but decided to ignore her weariness for the moment. "Was there a reason for your visit?"

Megumi nodded. She swallowed and she cleared her throat. "Well, I of course need to check on Kenshin but it's occurred to me that I didn't check to see if you had any wounds." Her lip began quivering and her voice began to show hints of a tremor. "I should have asked if you were okay." She said, looking away.

Kaoru's eyes widened, oblivious to Megumi's discomfort, and she shook her head. "Oh no, don't worry. I only got a few bumps and bruises. There was nothing too serious. Besides, it was more important for you to focus on Kenshin."

Megumi looked down into her lap and Kaoru could see the slender tendons in her wrist as she squeezed her fists together in her lap, "Maybe so, but it doesn't excuse the fact that I ignored my dearest friend." Megumi looked up and Kaoru saw pools of tears swirling in her eyes.

Kaoru froze with shock. Megumi didn't cry and definitely didn't call Kaoru her 'dearest friend'. What was wrong with her? She was obviously more tired than she looked.

"Megumi, it's alright," she said, shifting nervously. Kaoru wasn't sure how to deal with an emotional Megumi. "It's not like it's the first time I've been kidnapped nor is it a first for cuts and scratches." Kaoru patted her leg affectionately—if a little awkwardly—in an effort to calm her.

Kaoru saw several things in Megumi's eyes at that moment. Fear, desperation, and grief was evident alongside love, hope, and joy. She was confused by all the revealed emotions and was even more confused when Megumi managed to blink them away in a heartbeat.

"You're right," she said with a chuckle. She pulled her leg away from a stunned Kaoru and placed her delicate hand over her mouth as she let out an arrogant chuckle. It seemed her usual foxiness was coming back. "I should be used to all the trouble you cause everyone by now."

The fox ears popped up as Kaoru's face got redder. "It's not like it's my fault!" Why in the world had she been trying to comfort that obnoxious fox?

Megumi smirked and rose gracefully, "Of course it's not, you little raccoon. I was just saying we have all grown accustomed to it. I guess it _has_ made life a little more interesting." She swiftly glided to the door and paused in the doorway, placing one hand on its frame. "However," she said, facing the opposite wall. "If you could cut down on the number of kidnappings—," she broke off for a moment, took a deep breath, then started again, "it would set everyone's mind at ease."

Kaoru's temper disappeared. Her eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. "Megumi—"

"I'm going to check on Kenshin now," she interrupted and in a flash was out of Kaoru's line of sight.

Kaoru continued staring at the doorway, her face the epitome of confusion.

_What in the world...?_


	2. A Brothers Protection

EDITED VERSION!

I still don't own Rurouni Kenshin :(

* * *

A week passed and Kaoru forgot about the incident with Megumi. She was busy flitting back and forth between training with Yahiko (he had gotten behind in his training with her gone) and caring for Kenshin. There was so much to do and she considered it a miracle if she got everything done for the day. There was training, laundry, shopping, cooking, and cleaning that had to happen. It was a difficult thing to do with only her and Yahiko, but not impossible. They were managing. In fact, it had gotten even easier the last few days because Sanosuke had decided to help out.

Sanosuke had been very quiet ever since the incident with Enishi at the beach. He had been jubilant when he'd seen that Kenshin won but when she'd approached them he'd grown silent and let everyone else talk. He only spoke to her once when they were on the way to the ship and had only said, "I'm glad you're back, Jou-chan."

He was much more helpful around the dojo then ever since then. Kaoru thought it was strange but decided to simply count her blessings. There was no telling how long it would last.

She was looking through the cupboard when she discovered that, yet again, they were out of tofu. With a sigh she left the kitchen and entered the eating area where everyone was seated. Yahiko and Sano were stuffing their faces like usual (just because Sano was quiet, didn't mean his appetite was diminished). Kenshin was drinking his soup next to them and looked completely tranquil next to the two buffoons.

Kaoru smiled at the three of them. It was the first time they'd eaten together since her capture. It brought tears to her eyes but she quickly wiped them away, not wanting to endure the teasing of Yahiko ("I thought only _women_ cried." Oh she could just see it now). She was just so thankful that she'd been found and that Kenshin was well on his way to recovery.

"Listen up guys," she said, interrupting their tomfoolery. "I'm going to head into town in about an hour. We are out of tofu again."

"I don't even like tofu," Yahiko mumbled into his soup.

Kaoru whipped her bokken out of nowhere and hit upside the head. "You'll take what I give you and like it!" she cried, face red with anger.

Yahiko jumped to his feet and pointed a grimy finger at her. "I'd rather eat maggots!"

Kaoru proceeded to chase Yahiko around the table. Insults were raining back and forth. Sano was laughing so hard he fell on his side and Kenshin continued to simply drink his tea.

They soon grew tired and sat down opposite of each other and refused to look at one another. Their grumbling was interrupted when Kenshin said, "Kaoru-dono, if it's alright, this one would like to accompany you to the market."

Kaoru forgot her argument with Yahiko. She fixed a hard gaze on Kenshin."No you most certainly cannot!" she said rudely.

Kenshin's eyes widened. "Oro?"

"Don't you 'oro' me, Kenshin," she said severely. "This is the first time you've been out of your room in a week and it took all your strength to get here. You'll drop dead before we arrive!"

Kenshin looked down and said, "Kaoru-dono. This one doesn't think it's safe for you to go out alone. You should have someone else go shopping for you, that you should."

"I'd been going shopping by myself for years Kenshin. Before I met you I didn't even go with an escort. Quit overreacting," she stated, surprised he had continued arguing. "It's not like one more time will kill me."

Kenshin tensed. His voice sounded slightly lower as he said, "That doesn't change the fact that this one—,"

Sano stood up abruptly. Startled, everyone turned to look at him. "I'll go with her Kenshin," he said quietly, placing his hands in his pockets. "I'll make sure she stays out of trouble.

Kaoru threw her hands in the air with annoyance and strode out the room. "Men," she mumbled. "There always convinced that a girl's got to be a damsel in distress. I can handle shopping for myself. I can even carry the bags," she said sarcastically.

What she didn't see was Kenshin and Sano pointedly not looking at each other.

What she didn't hear was Kenshin whispering, "Thank you," as Sanosuke strode out of the room.

* * *

An hour later they were on their way. Sano matched Kaoru's pace and swirled his fishbone around in his mouth. It was a gorgeous day, and Kaoru couldn't help but smile. "Isn't the weather nice, Sano?"

Sano glanced at the sky and shrugged. "It's a'right."

Kaoru looked at him and raised her eyebrow. "All right? Sano, it's beautiful out. Just because you're a big, tough man doesn't mean you can't think the weather is nice."

Sano shrugged again. "Sorry."

Kaoru gave a dramatic sigh. She looked up at Sano and saw that his eyes were flitting around in front of them. She turned her gaze and searched the area in front of them. What was he looking at? "Is something wrong?"

Startled, Sano looked down at her. "No. Nothing's wrong. Why do you ask?"

She mimicked his shrug. "I don't know. You just seem a little distracted."

Sano just stared at her. "Sorry."

Kaoru sighed again.

A few minutes later they entered the market and Kaoru set about finding the best price for tofu. Kaoru had lived most of her life on a low income and knew how to haggle for prices. She was busy doing just that when she realized that she needed several other items.

She asked the merchant to wait a moment and walked back to Sano who was standing back waiting for her. "I need you to go pick up some stuff for me," she said. She began rattling off the names of things she wanted when she was interrupted.

"Not a chance, Jou-chan," said Sano.

Kaoru glared at him. "What's that supposed to mean? If we go around and buy one item at a time we'll be here all day! Now, why don't you move your sorry butt and go get some groceries!"

"I promised Kenshin I'd stay with you," said Sano.

"No," she said crossing her arms, "you promised Kenshin that you'd escort me to the market. Now you have. So go get my groceries!" She turned and stomped back over to the merchant. As she was haggling she glanced back and saw that he was gone.

_Good_.

After several minutes of hard bargaining, Kaoru got her item at the price she wanted. Feeling jubilant, she headed off to find Sano. Knowing him, he didn't even haggle and just wasted her money on something that was more expensive than necessary.

She spent around ten minutes wandering around looking for him. She was just about to call it quits when she saw him through an alleyway to the next street over. She smiled broadly and strode through the alley. She was just about to call his name when a hand cupped her mouth and an arm snaked around her middle.

"If you speak," the slimy voice said, "I'll slit your pretty neck."

Kaoru's body filled with adrenaline but her mind stayed cool and calculating. She didn't have her bokken with her (_stupid_ she thought) and with the hand over her mouth she couldn't scream. He began slowly leading her backwards. She shuffled back with him and noticed that he was about Kenshin's height. His forearms that were around her middle were large with muscle, and she knew she couldn't force herself away from him. She looked down and noticed he had no shoes on.

Seeing her chance, she stomped on his foot as hard as she could. He cried out and loosened his hold on her. She cracked the back of her head against his nose and when he completely stepped away from her, she turned and kicked him in the crotch with all her strength.

She pivoted on her foot and was about to bolt out of the alley when she ran straight into what seemed like a brick wall. Looking up, she saw that she had run straight into Sano. She sighed with relief and was about to drag him and her out of the alley when Sano gripped her upper arms.

"Stay over here, Jou-chan," he said coldly and pulled her over closer to a wall.

"What do you think you're doing?" Kaoru cried, looking at the man who was still gasping. "We need to get out of here!"

Sano glared down at the man and cracked his knuckles. Kaoru's blood went cold when he said, "This will just take a minute." Sano walked slowly to the crouching man as Kaoru remained frozen by the wall.

Kaoru was shocked. This wasn't the Sano that joked around as he fought. This wasn't the man who, no matter who was threatened, would never kill someone. This wasn't Sanosuke Sagara. She looked into his eyes and didn't see his warmth. She saw murder. This man was Zanza.

Sanosuke picked up the man by the throat. "You chose the wrong woman to mess with," He said, a snarl crossing his expression. He punched him in the face. The thief sagged in his grip as blood flowed from a cut in his lip. "Do you know who I am?" he asked, coolly. He cocked his arm back again and drove it into the man's stomach. His breath left him in a whoosh.

Kaoru pushed her hand against her chest, trying to stop her thundering heartbeat. "Stop Sanosuke!" she cried.

Sanosuke dropped the man to the ground. The man was a bleeding mess and was curled at an awkward angle like a ragdoll.

"I," Sanosuke kicked him in the stomach. "Am," he kicked him in the head. "Zanza," he kicked him once more right in the face. Kaoru heard the cracking of a broken nose.

The man coughed up blood. "Have mercy," he pleaded, chocking.

"Stop Sanosuke!" cried Kaoru even louder, her stomach having grown queasy at the violence in front of her.

Sanosuke grabbed the back of his shirt and hauled him up, his feet inches off the ground, and made him look at Kaoru. "Do you know who that is?" he yelled, shaking him. The thief remained quiet. Sanosuke shook him again and the man's neck snapped back and forth with Sanosuke's arm. "Do you know who that is!" he screamed louder. Kaoru's eyes widened as the man whimpered and shook his head. Sanosuke bared his teeth. "That's my little sister," he bellowed. He threw him into the dirt.

Kaoru has tears coming down her face. Her eyes widen as Sanosuke picks him up one more time. She can see in his eyes and his cocked arm that he'll use his Futae no Kiwami. He was going to destroy this man in an animalistic rage.

With a burst of energy, Kaoru sprints forward. Just as Sano was moving to hit him, she grabbed his arm. He looked at her with a savage snarl on his face. She almost took a step back at his rage but instead placed a hand on his cheek.

"Sanosuke," she said gently, tears rolling down her face, "what are you doing?"

His face contorted even more causing an emotion to touch Kaoru that she'd never thought she'd experience when looking at Sanosuke. Fear. "He touched you," he snarled. "He'll die."

Kaoru's heart broke. "Sano, you're going to kill him? You're going to murder him? What would Kenshin say?"

His snarl remained firmly in place. Then his eyes started widening. He remained frozen for a minute before slowly lowering the bleeding mass that was a man.

Kaoru kept her eyes locked on his, her hand still on his cheek. "It is okay, Sanosuke. It's okay," she kept repeating herself until the man was on the ground.

Sanosuke started shaking. "I'm sorry," his voice cracked. He buried his face into her shoulder, wrapping his thick arms around her thin frame and squeezing. "I'm sorry,"

She placed one hand on his back and the other on his head, pressing it into her shoulder. "It's okay," she said again, swaying back and forth as if to comfort a child.

"I—I didn't—didn't mean to," he stuttered.

"I know you didn't," she said trying to be soothing even with tears flowing down her face.

"I freaked, Kaoru," he mumbled brokenly into her clothes. "I'd already lost you once. I couldn't lose my baby sister again."

She suddenly had a flashback of Megumi.

She pushed him gently off of her shoulder and looked into his eyes. Sano had tears running down his face. It made him look like a child. "I'm not going anywhere Sano. Trust me," she said, wiping the tears from his face. He gave a broken smile and lowered his head back to her shoulder.

They stood there for awhile longer, waiting for Sano to regain control of himself. As they stood there, the seeds of suspicion began to grow inside Kaoru's mind.

_What really happened?_


	3. A Sons Desolation

EDITED!

* * *

Night fell on the Kamiya dojo. Kaoru was in her room looking out her window. Today had been crazy and Kaoru was trying to relax by brushing her hair.

Her mother had long since faded from her memory. She couldn't remember what she looked like but she knew that she had made it a habit to brush her hair every night. It was a ritual she kept to this day, and she still found it soothing.

Kaoru was definitely in need of some soothing. Today had been unexpected and scary. Sano nearly killed a man! He'd never gone after a man with the intent of killing him before. Kaoru had been the near-victim of muggings a few times and whenever Sano was with her he never attempted to murder the man. He just tried to scare him away, usually making fun of him in the process. Zanza, a man she thought was long buried, rose again in Sano. It was just as terrifying an experience as Kenshin turning into Battousai. Kaoru shuddered at the memory of his warm brown eyes turning into a dark abyss.

Kaoru set her brush down onto her dresser and flipped her hair off her shoulder. She walked back over to the window and looked up at the moon. It was full that night and cast a beautiful, if eerie, light on the dojo grounds. Shadows flickered over the surfaces causing Kaoru to jump every now and then when one popped up unexpectedly. She tore her gaze away from the dark corners and stared at the moon.

Whatever was going on with Sanosuke was going on with Megumi. Kaoru had made a link between to two emotional experiences. Both had been centered on Kaoru being injured. Why were they so worried all of a sudden? Megumi knew she knew how to heal her own minor wounds. Sanosuke knew she knew how to defend herself. Why the emotional outbursts?

Kaoru was at a loss and was too mentally exhausted to do much more thinking on it. She closed the window and strode over to her futon. She lay down on it and was asleep the moment her head hit the pillow.

Kaoru woke up abruptly hours later and for a moment was confused on what woke her.

"KAORU!" screamed a terrified young voice.

Kaoru's eyes widened as she recognized who was yelling and nearly tripped as she bolted out of bed. She clambered out of her room, not caring she was in her yukata, and sprinted toward Yahiko's room, not caring about the racket she made.

"KAORU!" Yahiko screamed again, his voice cracking with tears.

Panic ripped through Kaoru's body as she tore open the door to Yahiko's bedroom. She frantically looked around his room saw that he wasn't there. Her eyes wide and heart racing, she tore through the rest of the dojo, searching for the little samurai.

"KAORU!" screamed Yahiko again. He sounded so broken and little that tears began to build in Kaoru's eyes as dread built inside her chest

"Yahiko! I'm coming!" she yelled to the small child.

She ran out to where she and Yahiko train. _Please let him be here_ she prayed. She opens the door violently and with a big bang. With a quick sweep of the room she saw Yahiko in a shadows. Her breath left her body.

He was crouched in a corner of the dojo facing the wall. He had tears running down his face and she could see his shoulders moving as he took quick, panicky breaths. He had a rag in one hand, viciously scrubbing the wall, and the other hand was used to wipe the tears out of his eyes.

Kaoru's tears overspill their boundaries at the sight of Yahiko. She slowly began to walk towards him.

"Yahiko?" she asked quietly, not wanted to startle the already scared boy.

"Go away," he said between panicky breaths and scrubs of the wall.

Kaoru's face pinched in a hurt expression. "What are you doing, Yahiko?"she asked kindly.

His scrubbing speed increased. "I've got to clean," he gasped.

Her eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. "What are you cleaning for?"

Yahiko stopped for a moment to rub his face in his sleeve. "There's blood on the wall," he said, his thick voice muffled and cracking.

Kaoru blinked in surprise and quickly looked at the wall. Nothing was there. "Yahiko there's no blood on the wall," she said as soothingly as possible.

"HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE IT?" he suddenly screamed at her, startling Kaoru with the sudden increase in volume. He whipped around to face her. The moon only allowed her to see half of his scowl. Kaoru, shocked by his vehemence, stayed silent. He didn't seem to recognize her in his fervor.

Yahiko's hair was in disarray as were his clothes. His face was blotchy and stained with tears and his hands were cracked and bleeding from where they were rubbed against the wood. His breath came out in pants and Kaoru could see the dilation of his pupils.

"I have to clean it," he said, still glaring at her—still panicked. "If I do, maybe they'll all come back. Maybe she'll come back." He returned his gaze to the wall and began scrubbing once more, mumbling to himself.

"Who?" she asked, chest hurting with all the pain and confusion she sees in Yahiko's eyes.

He ignored her. "They left," his voice rose in pitch. "They left me alone."

He began to hyperventilate as Kaoru closed the last few feet between them. She got down on her knees and slowly reached for his hand. He didn't react as she gripped it so she reached for the other one that was doing the scrubbing. She turned him toward her at a cautious speed and looked into his face. He had closed his eyes, but his breathing hadn't slowed.

"Yahiko?" she asked gently. His eyes opened slowly in response to her voice, releasing new tears. "Who left you?"

Suddenly, he looked over her shoulder and his eyes widened. "You're back," he whispered, a ghost of a smile on his face.

She looked over her shoulder and in the doorway was Kenshin. With all the tension she hadn't noticed his arrival. His body was sleek with sweat and his bangs were plastered to his forehead. His arm was crushed to his stomach and he leaned against the doorway for support, his breath coming out in pants.

_The walk down here must have exhausted him_ she thought but even with her concern for Kenshin, she turned her attention back to Yahiko.

"It's just a dream, Yahiko," she said as she placed a hand on his cheek. "He never left."

Yahiko turned his scorching gaze on her. "Of course he left," he cried, his voice laced with hatred. "He left right after she did." All of a sudden, recognition blazed across his face. He ripped his hand out of hers and slapped her arm away. Kaoru leaned back in reaction to his sudden violence.

"He left after _YOU_ left!" he screamed, swinging his fists at her which she easily caught. "You left me all alone! It's all your fault, Kaoru! It's all YOUR FAULT!" he wrenched himself away from her and turned toward the wall, almost seeming to try and hide in the corner.

Kaoru heart felt like it was going to split. She turned to Kenshin for help but found that his face was in his hand. A pang went through her stomach. Something was terribly, terribly wrong. She turned back toward Yahiko and scooted toward him, still on her knees. As she touched his shoulder, his shoulders tightened up and he buried his face in his knees.

"Yahiko," her voice cracked, "I would _never_ leave you."

He shoved her hand of his shoulder and spun around, yelling in her face. "Then why did you LEAVE me?" he cried, tears rolling anew. "Why did you go and die?"

Kaoru froze as waves and waves of shock coursed through her body. Yahiko turned back toward the wall and sobbed. Turning her almost frozen body, she turned and looked at Kenshin. "What does he mean, Kenshin?" her voice coming out in a whisper.

Kenshin looked at her with more sadness and regret then she had ever witnessed. This was more than when he told her he was Battousai. More than when he left her for Kyoto. More, even still, then when he told everyone about Tomoe. However, instead of sharing in his sadness, as she normally did, Kaoru experienced something new. Rage. She wanted to tear something apart. She felt like a lioness whose cubs were in danger. For the first time in her life, if only for the briefest of moments, she hated Kenshin.

Kaoru glared at him with all the gathered fury inside of her. "What did you do?" she asked quietly.

His look of sadness pierced through her anger to her very soul. "I," he hesitated, "I left." His voice broke at the last moment and tears rolled down his face.

Kaoru just glared at him with all her pent up rage. Even if she could find the words, there was nothing she could have said to him.

She turned away deliberately and focused on Yahiko, completely ignoring Kenshin. She moved so she was leaning against the wall beside him and, against his will, pulled him into her lap and squeezed him. He tried to shove himself free but Kaoru just held on harder.

"I don't know what happened, Yahiko," she whispered into his ear. "But I'm sorry you're in so much pain. I'll never leave you again. I promise you. I'll never leave."

Yahiko suddenly stopped struggling and just wept into her yukata. Kaoru rocked him in her lap and stroked his hair, shushing him as she would a crying baby.

"Will everyone come back now?" asked a hopeless Yahiko, wrapping his arms around her neck and squeezing desperately.

Kaoru looked up to see that Kenshin was no longer in the doorway. "Yes, they will. They have no choice," she said, almost sounding cold.

Yahiko relaxed in her grip. "I missed you," he whispered a few moments later and in seconds, was asleep on her bosom. Kaoru thought she was done crying but it seemed her body had some extra water to get rid of. She looked down at his sleeping face and tried to wipe off all his tears.

His face looked so young. Sometimes she forgot that he was only ten years old. He acted like he was so much older. He's a strong boy, but something happened that had crushed him. She felt her fury rise again and was surprised. Somewhere along the road, their relationship had changed. He used to be a brother. Now, she thought him more of a son.

_So this is what motherhood is_ she thought. _When you love your child so much that you almost come to hate the man you love_.

She stroked his face and looked at the Kenshin-less door.

She was going to find out what caused this. She was going to know what made Megumi cry. She was going to know what made Sanosuke murderous. She refused to remain ignorant of the situation.

She refused to let a situation that led ten year olds to have screaming nightmares of death and loneliness go unfixed.

And Kenshin was going to be the one to tell her.

* * *

A/N: Geez, that turned out a bit darker then intended but I think it's a fantastic cliff hanger! Lol. I apologize for the bit of OOC'ness of Kaoru, but I think that maturnal instincts always trump love. Haven't you heard of those stories where wives beat up husbands cause he hit their kids or somethin along those lines? (But don't worry, all you die-hard KK lovers. They still end up together). Please give me some extra time for the next chapter. I'm not quite sure what I want to do with it yet...

P.S. REVIEW PLEASE! I accept flames!


	4. A Mans Confession

EDITED!

Rurouni Kenshin is still not mine :(

* * *

Kaoru sat there with Yahiko for awhile longer. She wanted to make sure he was having a deep, dreamless sleep before she attempted to place him in his room. After his breathing steadied, she tried to stand without moving him much. It wasn't an easy thing to do. He was heavy for a ten-year-old and she was starting in an awkward position. After managing to rise with Yahiko cradled like a babe in her arms, Kaoru slowly made her way out of the training hall.

She exited and slowly started to walk across the grounds. She was staring at the ground, trying to see with the clouds now covering the moon while not tripping. All of a sudden, a tingle on the back of her neck made her look behind her. She made eye-contact with Kenshin. Or at least, she looked at his shadow. She could only see his outline in the dim light but she knew he was looking at her. He was sitting on the porch on the other side of the well. They stared at each other as the wind blew, tickling their faces and moving their hair.

Kaoru's cheeks flushed with anger. This man left Yahiko alone. He left a child by himself without anyone to take care of him. It was not an easily forgivable act.

Kenshin looked away first, his thick ponytail showing the movement of his head, and Kaoru continued on toward Yahiko's room. His discomfort pleased her.

She walked through the creaking dojo and approached his room. It was difficult, but she managed to get the door open without falling. She approached his futon and slowly laid him in it, pulling the covers over him. He immediately flipped over to his stomach, arms over his head, and began to snore. Kaoru grinned, her cheeks feeling stiff with all the dried tears. He'd always been a snorer.

Suddenly exhausted, she sat down next to Yahiko and looked at him. He was cute when he slept. His face relaxed from his constant frown, his mouth opened to release his snores. His hair was messy already and Kaoru reached out to fiddle with it in her fingers.

How could he leave a child as small as this to fend for himself?

Kaoru had a flashback to when she was a child. Her parents were dead. No one would take her. She was left alone in the dojo. She cleaned it, cooked in it, and protected it. Just because she was a child didn't mean people were always nice to her. She couldn't count how many times she'd had to defend her home and her honor from dirty low-lives. She had been so lonely. She had been all by herself. She would die before she allowed that to happen to Yahiko.

She turned away from him and looked at the entrance to his room.

What would possess Kenshin to leave? What could have happened that had been so bad that a young boy was left behind? _Nothing_ she thought darkly. _There is no excuse that could justify that_.

Feeling awake again, she carefully tiptoed out of Yahiko's room. She slid the door shut, and began to march out to where Kenshin was. She exited onto the grounds and saw he hadn't left his spot. She couldn't tell what he was doing but could sense his tension. _Good._

She strode over to him, her face beginning to form a scowl. Within seconds she was in front of him and could see him clearly.

He sat cross-legged on the porch, leaning against a post. His hands were squeezing his knees, elbows locked. His shoulders were tense and he didn't move at all. His bangs hid his face.

Kaoru's eyes started to form tears. Kaoru didn't want to pity him. She didn't want to be sad by how dejected he looked. She tried to stop the tears from coming. "I deserve an explanation," she said, her voice sounding raw from restraining her tears.

Kenshin didn't move.

"Kenshin," she said forcefully.

He slowly raised his head and met her eyes. She almost drowned in the sorrow there and the tears escaped. "Please Kenshin," she pleaded. "Tell me what happened."

He slowly looked down again. "This one doesn't want you feeling guilty, Kaoru-dono," he whispered. "It wasn't your fault."

"How about you let me decide how I should feel," she said, voice thick. "Just tell me what happened."

There was silence for a moment. Then Kenshin's shoulders started to shake. Kaoru's eyes widened and immediately reached out to touch him. "Kenshin?" He jerked away from her and stood up. Kaoru pulled her arm back slowly toward her chest. "What's wrong?"

His fists were tight at his side. "I can't talk about it Kaoru." He got up and slowly walked away, his wounds evident in his limp. Kaoru froze with shock. Not only did he stop with calling himself 'this one' he'd called her Kaoru. She wasn't as happy as she'd thought she'd be.

Fury. Rage. Anger. They all ripped through her in a moment and she fought to keep her body still. "Kenshin," she said quietly—coldly—viciously.

He continued to walk away.

"Himura," she said louder, glaring at the back of his head.

He stopped twenty feet away from her. He didn't turn.

She walked toward him slowly. She watched the muscles in his shoulders tighten as she came around and faced him. Kenshin was slightly taller than Kaoru so she had to look up slightly to meet his gaze.

She wanted to say so much to him. She wanted to yell and scream and hit and cry. So many emotions were roiled up in her. They were all scrambling up her throat, trying to get their say in. They chocked her. All she could do was stand there. Her fists were shaking. Her eyes were leaking. Her gaze was scorching.

Kenshin just looked at her. His face was a complete blank.

Her throat finally opened. "A week ago, Megumi came over and nearly cried because I had a couple of scratches from Enishi."

Kenshin blinked.

"Today, Sanosuke almost killed a petty thief when he threatened me," she continued.

Kenshin face twitched.

"A few moments ago, Yahiko had a screaming nightmare that I was dead and he was alone," she whispered.

Kenshin's face crumpled.

All of Kaoru's anger left her and was replaced by an aching sadness. "My family is not the same as when I was captured," she said, looking down. "They are broken and they are scared and I don't know why." She looked back up at him. His bangs hid his eyes from her. She reached up and lifted his chin. She gazed deep into his beautiful, sorrow-filled, violet eyes. "How am I supposed to help you, if I don't know what is wrong?"

Kenshin stared. He stared and he stared until he slowly looked up at the moon. So many emotions crossed his eyes Kaoru couldn't name all of them.

"I was about to defeat Enishi when one of his men burst through the side of the dojo," he began. His voice was quiet and shaking. "He grabbed hold of me and pinned me to the wall. I couldn't move. I couldn't break free. Enishi was walking into the smoke, toward you." He stopped and gazed at Kaoru, a lone tear running down his cheek. "I knew what he was going to do. I knew but I couldn't move. I'm considered the strongest samurai in all of Japan and I couldn't break his grip." He took a shuddering breath. "Sano and Saitou came and stopped him. They got him to let go of me and the moment my feet touched the ground I was racing toward you."

Kaoru was frozen in place, entranced by the remembered violence.

_Within the dojo, Kaoru saw an outline in the smoke._

"I ran through the smoke."

_Thinking it was Kenshin, Kaoru's heart lifted. Kenshin had defeated Enishi! He was coming to get her._

"It was the fastest I think I've run in my life, but it was far too slow."

_Enishi walked through the gloom, a sadistic smile on his face. Kaoru's heart sank._

Kaoru jerked back to the present when Kenshin's head dropped into one hand and he began to cry. Tears rolled off his hand and onto the ground. His body shook and quaked with the force of his sobs. He gasped for air only to lose it again. Kaoru's heart splintered for what felt like the hundredth time that day. Tears ran hot down her face and she stepped forward to hug him. He drew back from her and what remained of her heart was stung.

Kenshin spoke into his hand, "When I got there," he paused to take a deep, shuddering, painful breath, "you're body was pinned to the wall inside the dojo. You had an x-shaped scar on your left cheek." He shuddered and finally looked into Kaoru's eyes. There were no words to describe his pain.

Kaoru's mouth dropped. Without thinking, she raised a hand to touch her cheek. Her eyes moved so they were staring at the scar on Kenshin's face. Kenshin, seeing where her gaze was, flipped his hair over his face, covering his shame-covered scar. They were silent for a long time. The nighttime sounds seemed to turn off with the tension of the moment.

"The spot on the wall that Yahiko was rubbing was where the sword was pinned, through you, into the wall."

Kaoru turned and faced that building. She'd died in there. Everyone thought she'd died in there.

"At that moment, my life was over. Everything stopped. I failed to protect the most important person to me again."

Kaoru snapped back and looked him.

He ignored her and looked across the grounds, tears falling freely. "I couldn't handle it. I was broke. I couldn't stand the thought of being around other people. I was tired of life; tired of trying to live. I went to Rakuninmura."

Kaoru gasped—her hand closed over her mouth. She tried to say something but Kenshin talked over her. It seemed he had forgotten she was there. "I was in my own personal hell, just like Enishi promised. Every breath I took made me ache. It felt like I had no heart. I was numb to everything, even when Megumi, Yahiko, Sanosuke, and Tsubame came to get me." He looked down with mortification.

"I told them to let me rest. Sanosuke came back later and punched me in the face to tell me good-bye," he absently raised a hand to rub his cheek. "Tsubame was the one who finally made me wake up," he finally looked back at Kaoru, the fog lifting from his eyes. "It was her cry for help that awoke me. A man in Rakuninmura, named Oibore, helped me discover why it was that Tsubame was the one to make me move."

"Why was it?" she asked.

For the first time that night—and she now realized, the first time since she returned—he smiled. He smiled a real smile. "I will always answer a call for help."

The smile, blessed though it was, fell from his face. He raised his hand and cupped Kaoru's cheek. His eyebrows furrowed as he gazed at her. "This one cannot express how sorry he is. This one realizes he should have told you sooner," his eyes filled with tears again. "This one told the others we shouldn't mention it to you. I just couldn't bear to see you guilty when I am the one at fault."

Kaoru leaned into his hand and covered it with her own. "I don't want you to feel guilty either, Kenshin," she said, giving him a small smile through her tears.

"This one is sorry he upset you so much tonight," he said, drawing his hand away and lowering his gaze.

Kaoru glared at him. "Will you stop that?"

Kenshin looked up at her in confusion.

"Quit pulling away from me! I know you think you're not worthy of comfort, but I do!" she cried.

Kenshin looked bewildered. "Kaoru-dono, I—,"

Kaoru interrupted. "And quit with the 'Kaoru-dono' stuff." He shut his mouth. "I won't lie to you Kenshin, I was mad. I was mad that you left Yahiko, but most of all I was mad that you didn't seem to think I could handle knowing."

Kaoru pointed to herself and leaned forward. "I am not a weak little girl. I am a woman who has a right to know when the people in her family are hurting. I have the right to know," she yelled the last part.

She closed the last few feet between her and Kenshin and hugged him fiercely. "I forgive you, Kenshin," she whispered, "as long as you promise never to lie to me again."

His arms—hesitantly at first—closed around her. All of a sudden he was squeezing her so hard she could barely breathe. "You are too good for an unworthy one like me," he whispered back.

Kaoru leaned back and looked at him with all the love in her now healed heart. "I've met a lot of unworthy men in my life, Kenshin Himura," she pointed to his heart. "You are not one of them. That's why I love you."

Kenshin's eyes went as wide as saucers and his mouth hung open. "You—you love me?"

Kaoru's eyes widened as much as Kenshin's and her cheeks went red. She hadn't meant to say that either. She looked down at the ground, unable to look at him for fear of rejection. In her emotional state, she didn't know how she'd handle it.

Kenshin lifted his hand from her back and raised her chin to look at him. He was frowning, and Kaoru's heart started to sink. "I don't understand you," he said. "I don't understand how someone could take a hitokiri into their home. I don't understand how somebody could allow _Battousai_ to sleep in the room next to theirs." He wiped away a stray tear that fell down her face. "And I definitely don't understand how you can come to love a man who has caused nothing but life-threatening danger to you and your loved ones."

His gaze turned into liquid warmth and his violet eyes seemed to be swimming in love. "However, for what it's worth, this one loves you too."

They kissed just as the sun broke over the horizon.

A/N: Okay, so the ending was ridiculously cheezy, but I couldn't think of a way to end it. I liked the rest of it though and I hope you do too! Please review!

P.S. I am totally stumped for my next story. My inspiration level is at an all-time low. Does anyone have any ideas for me? I'm desperate!


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